Rules of DEATHub
Rules of DEATHub
The three DEATHub rules (posted at the bottom of every page) are designed to help this group be a reflection of the people in it.
While there are only three rules to DEATHub, here are 10 pieces of advice to keep DEATHub positive.
You’re not going to get along with everyone in DEATHub. And you’re not going to like everything that happens in DEATHub. The world is full of diversity, and there’s many times when your diversity doesn’t like my diversity. The following guidelines help my diversity get along with yours.
ONE. Only engage in a comment thread when it makes you happy.
Comment on/post on things that interest you and try your best to ignore the things that don't. This is by far the best rule to live by when you’re chatting online.
TWO. Prefaces are very helpful if you're posting something personally vulnerable, and/or possibly triggering, or visually graphic.
It's helpful to start a personally vulnerable post with something like this preface: "I'm going to share something vulnerable. Be extra nice to me."
If you're sharing something about rape, murder or something that could be triggering, you should probably use "trigger warning" as a preface to your post.
And anything with graphic content deserves a "Warning: Graphic content".
THREE. Keep on scrolling.
Some people are religious, maybe you’re not.
Some people aren’t religious, maybe you are.
Some people don’t mind pictures of dead bodies, maybe you do.
Some people have a different sense of humor than you do.
Some people might post something that triggers you, or disgusts you, and even though they should have been empathetic, they weren't.
If you don’t like it, that doesn’t mean that it’s wrong for the poster. Only engage in posts that you like.
If you don’t like it, (in Dory voice) keep on scrolling.
FOUR. Don’t get baited into Slacktivism.
The slactivist is the online justice warrior, who bounces around from comment thread to comment thread correcting everyone else’s aggressions and transgressions. Slacktivists don’t help the conversation. Instead of being the slacktivist, be the Socratic Questioner. If you want to engage a comment that is either ignorant or offensive, let your questions do the talking.
FIVE. You’re not an expert unless you’re actually an expert.
Listen to people. Tell your own story. Share what has helped you. Feel with them. Grieve with them. Get happy with them. But unless you’re a psychologist, psychiatrist or some other person who holds a professional degree in counseling, be careful with the advice you give.
SIX. Ask not what DEATHub can do for you, but what you can do for DEATHub.
The mod group does its best to keep DEATHub positive, but keeping DEATHub positive is up to each us. It’s up to us to be positive with our posts, positive in our comments, and positive with our empathy towards others.
SEVEN. When a post or comment thread goes to shit:
1). Walk away from the thread and 2.) If you started the thread, delete the thread. Because not only does name calling/infighting hold no value for you, it also holds zero value for others who will read it. In fact, it could be said that it holds a negative value for a group like DEATHub.
EIGHT. TRUST YOUR MODERATORS
Moderating a growing group of this size can be thankless (although all the mods do have access to my flying Pegasus “Triton”). We have the task of trying to do right by this group of wonderful people.
And, to keep DEATHub positive, we will delete comments.
We will delete posts.
We will delete members.
And because things can get out of hand quickly, we have to make snap judgments.
We are not omnipotent, omniscient or omnipresent, but we do have good hearts. And none of us have time for drama. Seriously, no drama or you’ll get booted.
NINE. Speak your grievances privately, and your praises publicly. Not the other way around.
None of the moderators have time for dealing with public grievances. We have jobs. We have kids. We have hobbies. And since this is all volunteer work, I’ve learned a simple rule: if you air your grievances publicly, you’re not healthy for a Facebook group. Not because I can’t take criticism, but because I’ve learned to categorize drama-makers as a subcategory of “asshole”.
If you have a grievance, you can flag the post you don’t like and the mods will review it. And if you don’t feel like your grievance is resolved, leave the group quietly (or I'll send a hoard of fairies to that will keep your pet awake whenever you try to sleep). This group isn’t for everyone. And that’s okay. It’s okay if you just need to leave.
TEN. Find the people you enjoy in DEATHub and stick with them.
Find your group within this group. Friend request the people you like here. Enjoy them. Enjoy their stories. Listen. Learn. And become a better human by being friends with good people.
That’s the best we can hope for with this group. This group isn’t here to solve the world’s problems. We’re here to find people who are walking the same paths we are. We’re here to walk with them and let them walk with us. We’re here for the journey. The journey together.
One. No proselytizing: Religious belief, spirituality and nonbelief are sacred. because they are sacred, we respect them. Because they are sacred we don't push them on others.
Two. No Advertising: DEATHub is a space where we can talk about personal stories, personal feelings and ideas. Those stories, feelings and ideas won't be exploited for personal or corporate gain.
Three. No Assholes: DEATHub only works if we are understanding and empathetic in our posts, comments, and when we're incidentally offended by another. We are a group that is full of good people, who have deep and sensitive stories. This is a place for those stories.